Amanda

Hey beautiful humans. I am Amanda Hernandez Michalski. I was born in Colusa, CA but grew up in Salinas, CA. I am a rising junior math major with a minor in Catholic Studies. Despite the lack of authentic taquerias, warm beaches and endless fields, the evergreen scenery, no sales tax and the family I’ve found in campus ministry and the women’s rowing team make up for the other things. It’s home away from home.

This summer, instead of teaching swim lessons like I usually do, I get to be an intern for justice. I am living with the Sisters of St. Joseph of Carondelet in the Medaille house named after their founder, John Peter Medaille in South Central LA. It is the province’s discernment house for those discerning vowed religious life. Aside from this discernment, I am also working at Alexandria House in their childcare center. Alexandria house is a women’s shelter located in Koreatown in LA that was founded by one of the sisters. It offers more than just shelter; it is a home. We empower women and people of color to foster community among one another in the fight for equality across race, gender, and socioeconomic status.

Living in community with the sisters has allowed me to enter a reflective state. Unfortunately I am not able to write as often as I’d like: I get up at 4 a.m. for rowing practice, manage to make it back for 7 am prayer then work from 9-5:30, soon to be 6, every weekday. This all sounds like a lot on paper but for the first time I feel the closest to title of “adult” as I ever have because I feel balanced.

Going into college, I told myself that I would never choose to work with kids.*queue ironic laughter* Starting at Alexandria house, I had a hard time bonding with the kids. They have very specific guidelines as to how we handle conflict. We also don’t call them kids or children, we call them friends. When a friend wants a toy that another is already playing with, instead of just saying no, we facilitate negotiations between them. We tell the friend that toy is unavailable right now, but in 5 or less minutes (depending on what the friend in possession decides) it will be available. We also teach them how to vocalize their feelings and their boundaries by having open conversations about our need for personal space. These children are so emotionally advanced. I feel like I’m learning more about how to handle emotions than they are.

At times I will find my mind wandering and become too curious about the children’s backstories. The chismosa part of me really wants to ask and almost feels entitled to their background. My excuse for asking would be so that I could better serve them. Though it sounds reasonable, I’ve come to realize that it shouldn’t matter as much as people make it seem. Yes, it is important to avoid triggers, but we are called to serve our brothers and sisters with authentic love as well as enter into communion with them. We don’t need to know that her family was evicted and that’s why she doesn’t want to share the dollhouse set. We don’t need to know that his dad beat the family and that’s why he doesn’t like loud noises and participating in music time. Instead we need to meet the dear neighbor where they are and foster an environment that helps them find their preexisting greatness.

I had a great day at work the other day and had to write about it immediately. Here are my reflections from that day:

I feel like I have a deeper bond with the kids at Alexandria House. One of them even requested me by name to play with him today! His name is Zion and he is the only one I am sure knows my name. Though he is rotten, he has the biggest heart I have ever seen in a child and he’s only 3. He struggles to express his emotions, resulting in displays of anger and self-isolation.

He’s like a two-year-old dog: not really a puppy, but not really an adult. He hates being called baby and always wants to play the role of a grown up. In fact, the other day he asked for my hand in marriage! I of course had to say no, but I gave him some peanut butter and his heart was restored. But, the second you sit down on the carpet with a book, he is in your lap and cuddles up for a nap.

My first day of work, he was not there, and the staff was describing him to me so that I could brace myself. All the behavioral tendencies they told me about are true, and I have now experienced all of them, including the swear words and name calling. I still have this great love for him when I walk through that door and see him already in the “feel better area” at 9 a.m. That love is genuine. That love is a gift that only God can provide. As the Sisters of St. Joseph would say, he is “the dear neighbor.” The connection between us can only be described as pure. The emotions are raw, the gestures are honest and the time we spend together is precious.

He isn’t the smartest. He isn’t the strongest. But he sure as heck has a lot of potential. At least once a day he puts on the doctor outfit and sets out on a mission to cure all the dolls of some new ailment. Everyday I think to myself, “He’s going to go far.” Then, reality sets in and all these future conditions pop into my mind. “What if he doesn’t go to a good school?” “What if someone calls him names?” “What if people tell him he can’t…and he actually believes them?” “What if he loses all of the joy he once was filled with?”

I’m not even his mother and I’m scared to let him into the real world. All these worries don’t come from nowhere though. They come from the continuous failures of the education system and misguidance from people in leadership positions. When these kids call me teacher, I am honored to bear the weight of helping these children develop. It is not just a job anymore. It is a commitment to enter into relationship with God’s gifts and help them realize how perfect they already are. Perfection is not being without flaw, it is being one with the trinity.

It is our duty as capable humans to stand up for the little people. This world is a gift. We need to prepare it for the esteemed guests to come. Even though this world is temporary, it is the platform in which we find our connection with the divine and show that through doing God’s work.

Challenge: Do one act of love for a child(ie offer them a prayer, donate old books to a school)