The Office of Alumni and Parent Relations has the pleasure of working with a team of rock star student workers who are passionate about supporting the greater Pilot community! One of those students, Heidi Parrett ’20, and her mother, Kimberly Parrett, share some personal insights into the adjustment families make when students move home for the summer break. Keep reading to find out what they’ve learned and tips for having your Pilot home for the summer.

Heidi’s advice:

• Every family is different, and every student/parent relationship is different! This is what we’ve found helpful, but we realize this advice might not be applicable to everyone.
• It is important to have open communication and be on the same page about family schedules, planning, vacations, expectations, etc. One of the transitions that takes place as students grow up is that we may not be able to participate in every family trip and occasion like we used to.
• Just as it is important for parents to keep their student in the loop regarding family schedules and trips, students are responsible for keeping their parents informed about their own schedules.
• Students live an independent life when away at college. Have open and honest communication about what the “house rules” are, especially regarding drinking, guests, or other tough subjects.
• If you live far away from campus and your student is coming home for the first time in a while, try to give them some space when they first arrive home. Leaving college life and friends behind for the summer can feel overwhelming, so they may need some time to adjust.
• Another area to have clear communication about is financial expectations between you and your student. Especially over the summer months, what are you as a family supporting? What is your student financially responsible for? Are they expected to pay for their food and shop for themselves? Or do you expect them to help prepare meals and eat together as a family? These are all good things to discuss.

Mrs. Parrett’s advice:

• Treat students like adults, who are responsible for their own time, items, health, likes, & dislikes.
• Have a welcoming, clean room for them to live in.
• Get to know the person they have become after a year of living on their own.
• Expect that they have changed in some way from how they were before college.
• Keep an open line of communication.
• Act more as a consultant – be there to listen and share guidance without outright telling them what to do.
• Accept that your role in your student’s life has changed, and with that, understand that their priorities may not be the same as yours.
• Realize that your student is now used to being on their own schedule. Instead of dictating their schedule, instead ask that they keep you informed of their schedule. It’s also good to let them know ahead of time about any family plans for the summer.
• Communicate expectations about helping around the house and any financial responsibilities.