by Kunal Nayyar ’03 as told to Laurie Kelley
I got my start in theater at the University of Portland — that’s where Mindy Logan taught me to act, and I still use all of her acting methods to this day. Those were such formative years for me. I hadn’t done a play in eight years, being so busy on Big Bang. To do a play right you really have to have time to rehearse. I was honored that Jesse asked me to be in his play with him, and I jumped at the chance, feeling that the play was right, I had the proper time to prepare, and I could be on stage with Jesse. It was wonderful.
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My new book is called Yes, My Accent is Real. It’s little snippets of my life. It’s about my journey from New Delhi to Los Angeles. It’s not a memoir; I’m too young to write a memoir. A lot of people know Raj Koothrappali from Big Bang Theory, but people don’t know that I’m actually from India. People call me an Indian-American actor or British-Indian actor, but I grew up in New Delhi. I wanted to tell my story so that it would inspire young people to realize that dreams can come true if you take a chance.
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From the time I was 18 I really wanted to be in a college that was close to my brother, who was at Reed. I had looked at lots of colleges and the University of Portland really caught my eye. I got a good scholarship, and that was that for the decision. I never even visited or saw the campus. I just took a chance, and it ended up being the best decision I ever made. I lived in Corrado Hall, which had just opened. I remember so many things so vividly… I didn’t know what I was doing. I had a great funny roommate. I was always falling in love with girls who were never falling in love with me. I could never figure out what time to show up to parties. I didn’t understand the cadence of sarcasm. I would just laugh at everything even if I didn’t understand the jokes. Because some of the jokes are cultural, you know. But I would just laugh because I wanted to be included. People probably thought I was an idiot who just laughed at everything. I worked in housekeeping my first summer, cleaning a lot of offices, and then I became a computer lab manager, without actually knowing anything about computers. Or managing.
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I majored in business, and never did actually get a minor in theater — too lazy. I’d have had to take set design and costumes and such but all I wanted to do was act. So every semester I just took my entire business classload and then I did as much acting as I could. My parents advised me to get a business degree, and I agreed with them — we wanted to have something I could fall back on in case my acting dream didn’t work out. I’m blessed to have parents who supported me in whatever I wanted to do. What they really cared about was the kind of human being I turn out to be. They’re happy that I’m financially comfortable and that I’ve worked very hard to achieve things, but those things don’t matter to them. I think they’re just happy that I’ve made a good life for myself. And that I have a good family and I work hard. I’m a decent human being, I think, and that is what they are most proud of.
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I have been married for four years now. My priorities shifted radically. For the first time in my life I feel more responsible for someone else than just me. Plus it’s nice to have a partner in crime. My wife Neha is Indian also, and we get homesick, but we are very busy — Neha is a fashion designer, launching her own label, and I’m busy with the show. We long to go home to India, but when we go home we have to see a thousand people in ten days. We wish we could marry our universes and have our families in Los Angeles, but… Where do we live in the future? Do we raise our kids in India? Do we raise them here? How is that going to play out? But, you know, we’ll be fine. We just have to trust in the universe and it will all work out.
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Neha and I did establish a theater scholarship at the University, yes. We wanted to give back. I know how much help the theater department needed. And I wanted to honor Mindy Logan, a truly wonderful acting coach. I didn’t know what I was doing when I started. I needed direction, and she gave me confidence. She taught me how much hard work it takes to really learn how to act, how much hard work and sacrifice it takes to be good at your craft. She laid the foundation of everything that I’ve achieved in my craft. Everything. When I was in Jesse’s play I consciously went back to her training. Whether you’re a singer or a dancer or painter or athlete or whatever you do, your foundational training is what you build on. You must have strong foundations to be able to build. Mindy was amazing. I remember how much I needed help when I was in college — maybe Neha and I can help someone else in the years to come…