Every student’s situation is different this semester depending on their class year, living situation, major, or other factors. This variety of situations may make navigating parenting even more challenging (and sometimes rewarding) than usual. We spoke with three different students – one living on campus, one living off campus with roommates, and one living at home with their family – to hear how they’ve made the most of their current situation and what their advice for parents is.

Maggie Loft, Senior (she/her)

Experience: Living off campus with roommates

My name is Maggie and I am a senior here at UP. In May I will graduate with a Bachelor of Science in Secondary Education, a major in History, and a minor in Political Science.  I lived in Lund Family Hall for my first two years, and for the past year and a half I have lived in an off-campus rental with friends. While living on campus, I was a Community Assistant and a Service and Justice Coordinator in my residence hall. The summer after my sophomore year I studied abroad in Salzburg, Austria. I stay involved with our Moreau Center for Service and Justice doing community outreach projects, and last year I was a Public Research Fellow for the College of Arts and Sciences. I have worked in Admissions for the past four years and am currently the Student Ambassador Coordinator. This year I am also an officer with Students Today, Alumni Tomorrow, and a student representative for our National Alumni Board.

My six roommates and I have remained living in our rental about a block from campus since classes went online last March.  Since then I have been online for all of my classes and I did an online internship over the summer as well. So far, I have also been totally virtual for my student teaching placement, although we may transition to a hybrid model at some point in the coming semester. However, I have still been able to go to my job at Admissions in person every day, as well as I taking on a private tutoring position with a few local families which we do on an outdoor covered patio.

Living with my close friends has been something that I have really appreciated while taking online classes. I think that even if you are living at home, maintaining communication with your college friends is really important. Most students will say that our strong sense of community was one of the main factors in their decision to attend UP, so not having our physical campus community has been a difficult transition. That being said, pretty much every department and organization on campus has transitioned their programming to a fully virtual setting. I know first-hand that after a day spent on the computer, it can be hard to work up the motivation to attend yet another Zoom meeting.  However, the virtual events which I have attended that are not for class, student teaching, or a meeting – but rather just to catch up with people – have been so restorative.  Even though being online all day is draining and it is important to spend time away from the screen, I would also encourage students to attend some of the extracurricular events to stay socially connected to other UP students. It makes a world of difference getting to talk to people you may not normally get the chance to.

When quarantine started, I had already been living in my rental house for about seven months, so there wasn’t a major shift in my family dynamics. However, the beginning of quarantine was a challenging time because my parents were worried about our family being in two different states and wanted me to come back home. Regulations were becoming stricter and they were nervous that there might be limitations on travel across state borders, impacting my ability to get to them in case anything happened. For me, it was really important that I stayed in my rental house with my friends because it was the only part of my “college life” that I had left when classes went online. After a couple of weeks, we worked things out and I stayed in Portland. Even though I didn’t go through the major shift in family dynamics of moving home, it has still been a tough situation to navigate and has required a lot of intentional communication so that my family and I can do something that works for both of us and see each other safely.

I think it is important for families to have these conversations, whether or not their student is living at home right now. Online learning is a major challenge for most students and it has been difficult to lose the social interaction that makes college the experience that it (usually) is. I think it is important to start conversations to make sure both you and your student have a clear idea of what is needed in terms of both boundaries and support. College is a very short but formative period of our lives, and it has been difficult to lose so much of that experience. All that being said, UP students are resilient and we have still managed to maintain many aspects of our strong community. I would encourage parents to initiate conversations about what kind of agreements and compromises can be made so that their student is able to make the most of the college experience while we are remote.

Sage Taylor, Senior (he/him/his)

Experience: Living on Campus

I have the great opportunity to be double majoring in Political Science and Theology at the University as well as a minor in History. Here I learn all kinds of lessons which I apply in my day to day life, my job search, and, most proudly, in my role as student body president.

I was living on campus this past semester and taking all my classes remotely. Being on campus had its academic benefits as I was able to focus more, but it also allowed me to stay in touch with my campus community at a time when such connections are more important than ever. As student body president and as a personable fellow, I can’t help but extend an invitation to parents to feel comfortable sending their students to campus. Frankly, it’s a pretty safe place to be with the many protocols in place. Classes may be remote but I still found time to create plenty of new and safe social-distanced memories with fellow community members.

If I could make one request to parents on behalf of my fellow students, it would be to please remember that, even though your child’s body might be at home, their mind is mostly at school. That’s a really different mindset, so please help support them in that. Being someone’s kid and a student at the same time can be tough!

Marlee Bennett, Second-Year Student, (she/her/hers)

Experience: Living at home with family

My name is Marlee Bennett and I am a second-year elementary education student. I am on the 3+1 track to graduate in three years with my undergrad and get my master’s in education during my fourth year. At UP, I am the organizational and journal club president, Plan UP, and the reading fair coordinator for Kappa Delta Phi. I was involved in Corrado Hall’s events as an organizer, photographer, and social media coordinator on campus. I am also a member of the honors society Alpha Lambda Delta.

Last March, I moved back in with my parents in Seattle for remote learning, which I continued last fall and this spring. Last summer, I started nannying for a family, and when we moved to virtual learning for the fall, I stayed with the family and helped the kids through their schooling. Now I work 30 hours a week with the family and can make the most of my online learning by completing my virtual classes while getting field experience with the kids. Trying to connect to your major even in virtual learning is a great way to apply knowledge and stay active in communities. When working with the kids, I can directly apply my learning from lectures to real-life situations.

One way to stay connected to the UP community is by exploring the many student-led clubs. While we might not meet in person, club leaders are working hard to provide quality connections for their members. Another critical aspect of the UP community is connecting to professors and staff. While this is more difficult online, students should try to get to know the UP staff through office hours and emails. These connections can not only assist in learning but also offer valuable professional experience in the future. 

While being home with my family, we have gotten even closer than in previous years. With fewer activities pulling us in every direction, we have had more family dinners together at the table than ever. This year, we have grown together through house renovations, family game nights, and countless movies in the living room. I recognize that we are fortunate to all still get along given the tight conditions, but I think a big part of that is that my parents respect my independence, and we each have alone time when completing our work.

Parents should respect that their children are college students who would typically live independently right now. Through clear and consistent communication, parents must give their children freedom and respect their boundaries. Although my family has gotten closer this year, we also give each other more space during working hours. Our family agreements flex based on the school cycle between midterms, breaks, and finals. My parents offer me more space during stressful seasons, and I step up and offer more help around the house when I can. Something else important is to practice empathy and patience. Given that we are living through history right now and that can make situations pretty tense, we need to work to understand others’ emotions rather than lashing out. In households, this makes open communication even more critical for both students and parents.