Another school year has come to a close, and with this comes many goodbyes—we say goodbye to our classes, professors, roommates, friends, and we close the door on a few fond memories. For some of us, these goodbyes are not permanent—we have just a few short months before returning to campus in the fall. For others, this may be one of the last times we ever set foot on the UP campus (at least for a while). Whether students transfer, study abroad, or have graduated, for many life off of the bluff is just beginning once they say their goodbyes. While many of these goodbyes are personal and filled with emotion, there is something to be said about those who have mastered what Ed Batista would call “The art of saying a professional goodbye.” You might be asking yourself, “What is a professional goodbye?” Isn’t goodbye just as simple as “Bye! See you later! Ciao! Adios! Sayonara?” Batista writes a very interesting article that outlines a few principles that may allow us to make the “goodbye” process less overwhelming and more meaningful. Here is a summary of his principles:
1) Understand Your Needs—It is crucial to have an understanding of our own needs and how they might impact the way we handle goodbyes is crucial. For example, if we tend to rush through goodbyes to avoid painful emotions or discomfort, we may be discrediting the other party, leaving them feeling disgruntled and confused. Understanding our needs encourages us to “challenge [our own] preferences and be more flexible about them to ensure that the experience is fulfilling for others.”
2) Mark the Occasion—Don’t just skip over the goodbye. Do something to acknowledge the ending, even if it’s something as simple as saying “Well, this is it” and proceeding from there. Rather than remaining in denial and potentially missing the gravity of the goodbye, marking the occasion forces us to face the reality of the situation and handle our emotions accordingly—skills that prove very beneficial in life.
3) Share the Work—Essentially, remember that we aren’t the only party involved in the goodbye. Be aware of and receptive to the emotions of the other party (or parties). Be considerate of ho they may feel and try to give them a say in the timing, duration and location of the goodbye. Allowing the other party (or parties) to feel involved allows us to take some of the pressure and the emotion of the goodbye off of our own shoulders, creating a shared and powerful experience amongst all parties.
4) Manage the Emotion—Batista acknowledges that saying goodbye often is (and should be) emotional. Thus he encourages us to manage our emotions—and to understand that this doesn’t always mean holding emotions in. Try to create a “goodbye” environment where those involved can cry if they need to, laugh if they need to or get upset if they need to. Allowing people (including yourself) to feel comfortable expressing whatever range of emotions they need to feel often helps them to feel more closure when the goodbye is all said and done.
5) Accept—and prepare for—the letdown—Goodbyes don’t always feel good. Particularly with personal goodbyes, they are often difficult, sad and uncomfortable. We don’t always get the outcome we hope for, nor do we always feel the sense of closure we expected. Accepting this and, accordingly, preparing for it as best you can tends to make the overall process easier.
So start thinking about some of the goodbyes you’ve said and the ones you’re going to be saying. Seniors, consider all the people who have helped you through your journey here at UP—professors, advisors, financial aid representatives, other students, etc.—and think about how you might thank them for all they’ve done for you. Also, consider these principles when leaving a job, an internship or a volunteer experience. Ultimately we will say many goodbyes in our lives, but saying them in a professional and respectful manner can go a long way.
Written by Sarah, senior Finance major