As college students, I think we often find ourselves in an environment where we’re constantly encouraged to say “yes” to every opportunity possible: Of course I’ll join that club! I would love to take on that extra project! Yes, I will volunteer, take that extra class, accept a second (or third) job, etc. We’re told that every experience makes us well-rounded, more diverse and more appealing; and each experience gives us one more thing to potentially put on our resume. When it comes time to apply for jobs, we may find ourselves “mass-applying,” submitting as many applications as we can—even if they aren’t all “ideal” jobs—and hoping the one we really want will stick. Trust me, I know the feeling. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a firm believer that every opportunity is a good opportunity, and I’ve spent much of my time taking every opportunity I can in the hopes of building an ideal future for myself.
Since the time I was a freshman at the University of Portland, I have held at least two part-time jobs while maintaining full-time student status and commuting from my home off-campus. At one point, I was working 3 jobs while taking 17 credits. At another point, I was working 2 jobs, volunteering, and taking 16 credits. I’ve had a really hard time saying “no” to anything. All the while, I’ve been telling myself that everything will pay off; that each new task I take on will help me to create opportunities for success and maybe one day I won’t have to do quite so much. Each time I begin looking for new work, as I am now, I go into panic-mode, thinking nobody is going to want to hire me, wondering how I will ever find a job, etc. So I fill out tons of applications and anxiously wait. This time around I’ve been lucky enough to have several offers, which is great! But then I come to realize that I can’t accept all of them. Which means that I have to say no to several of them. Which is really hard for me. But it has also taught me a really important lesson—how to gracefully say no. Last fall I conducted several informational interviews with managers and directors within a company I’m really interested in working for, and many of them told me that I need to learn how to say no; they told me that learning to say no is one of the most important lessons they ever learned. I never really understood what they meant until now.
Saying no is hard. It doesn’t always feel very good. Especially when we’re so used to saying yes. I have found myself having a really hard time telling somebody I won’t be able to accept the offer. Maybe part of it has to do with the fact that when I say I can’t accept the opportunity, part of me thinks that saying no means I’m not capable. Why can’t I do everything? I start to question myself and wonder, “Well, is there a way you could make it work? Couldn’t you find a way to balance it all and juggle it all?” But I’m coming to realize that saying no in a graceful and professional way is the best thing I can possibly do for myself. Each time I say no I become a little more comfortable, partly because I know I’m handling each offer as best as I can. I make sure to thank the employers for their time and consideration, and acknowledge what a great opportunity they are offering and ask that they keep me in consideration for future opportunities. I don’t know what I’ll be doing a year from now, or 5 years down the line, or for the rest of my life. I may come back to these employers looking for work, so making sure to be professional, courteous and respectful is very important. And, the truth is, by being selective and choosing the opportunity that’s truly best for me, I can commit everything I have to thriving in that position, which is best for everyone involved. So ironically enough, although I’m in an environment where I’m so used to saying “yes,” I’m learning that by saying “no” to certain opportunities, I’m really dedicating myself to giving my all and bettering my future. And to me, that’s a big “yes!”
Written by Sarah, junior Finance major